Plan your Robbie Burns Day party

It is not too late to plan a Robbie Burns Day supper tonight, in honour of that famous 18thC Scotch poet best known today for his poem “Address to a Haggis.” Things you require:

1. A piper. There is currently one on Kijiji offering his services. Alternately, Youtube has a variety of piper videos.
2. A volunteer to say the Selkirk Grace (“Some hae meat an canna eat,/ And some wad eat that want it / But we hae meat, and we can eat, / And sae let the Lord be thankit.”)
3. Scotch broth or potato soup (Campbell Soup makes both. Try Valu-Mart).
4. A haggis, or, as Burns dubbed it, the “Great chieftain o’ the pudding-race!” This is harder, unless you have sheep’s or calf’s offal, suet, and oatmeal, as well as a bag made from an animal’s stomach to boil it in. Though the Healthy Butcher in Kitchener apparently sells it. Alternately, hot dogs?
5. Whiskey, oatcakes, and cheese to wash it down. Again, all readily available at Valu-Mart and the LCBO on King Street.
6. A volunteer to give a speech to Burns’ memory (Wikipedia, if you must).
7. A volunteer to deliver the address to the Lassies.
8. A volunteer to deliver the address to the Laddies.
9. A volunteer to read/recite more poetry.
10. Someone to lead “Auld Lang Syne.”
    And you are done! Or check local pubs. It’s a bit like how everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day: everyone is a lover of 18thC Scottish poetry when Robbie Burns Day rolls round.

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